Well, let me tell you!!!

It's a dark Monday here, I hear snow is in the forcast - have not seen it yet, but it's on it's way - and guess what I get to drive through tonight then - at 10, when it's dark!! YUCK!!! I won't be home till close to 11 - I start work at 5 this evening. Last week, I was done between 7 & 8 - great hours!! Tonight, I start my yucky hours - BUT - I am not complaining!! Today, because of my paycheck on Friday - I have started my 'moving on out' fund. And payed off some of my credit card plus put some on our line of credit.
When I started working, I figured, I would put my money towards my credit card and the line of it, but now, I have another priority to consider, so the line, only gets a little.......

Have we talked??? Are you kidding?!!?? We don't do that!!! So, it's where it was left the last post - and I am just doing what I am doing to start my life over. With or without the people I have in it now. I can not think of that - I am just going to keep on making my plans and move forward. I am listening to my CD's on the way to work - 'How to win Friends and Influence People" and "Think and Grow Rich". Each of these say, you have to have a dream, a goal and a passion. Right now, I am working on my goals, looking for my dream, and am praying I will get passion back. So - one point made to me by that voice of wisdom that talks to me while I drive - one habit I have is not finishing....... And that is a very bad habit to have created!!! So, one of my goals is to change it to finishing.
I have this habit in all I do!!! I only partly read a book - before I'm done I find something else to read that catches my eye!!
And my sewing projects!!!???!!! oh, common!!!!!!! Proof postive that I am not one to work out a project to the end - and that is a real problem. Take just a few minutes ago for example. Remember Bonnie Hunters mystery she had in the 'Quiltmaker" magazie??? Well, I thought, I have some time, lets work on the last step......... I couldn't find it!!!!!! And that is when I hit me square in the face. Girl, if you want to have a life full of fun and laughter, joy and exploration, you have got to get your **** together!!!!!

So, my goals???? Evey check - 25% is going to my new fund. It's not a fund I want to have to make, but I have to do it. I am done. I am so done. And I am outta here.

And, I am not taking this mess of projects with me. I will need things to warm me. Things for my walls. And I have alot of them 1/2 done. If I am serious about getting my life in order, creating a life I want to live, then I have to start sticking to my plans, creating my dreams and reaching my goals.

I also had a nice little 'you go girl' when I checked my lottery tickets today. I won $56!! Paid for my gas to get to work and that was a very nice surprise!!! It didn't have to come from my paycheck!! And that was alright by me!!

So, just to let you know, I have found my sewing room again!!! That feels good. Things on the home front haven't changed, but I have!! And this girl is going to keep moving forward, and I will be having fun while I learn and grow (rich!!!).

Have a great week!!!!

not good

Hello. I went to the movies on Friday - New Moon, for my daughters 18th birthday. 18 is the legal age here in Alberta, my little girl is now an adult. Hmmmmm...

Not a good last few days. I had a great day on Thursday - I should not have come home. I came bearing surprises and treats - not big things, just little snacky type things, foods for lunch the next day, and.........

I think my life is going to change. What do I mean 'think', it has. My then still 17 yr old fell down the stairs - I jumped up to make sure she was okay, it souned like she really got hurt. Well, I got told where to go and basically how to get there. Guess that means she's okay - but being the mom I am, I waited a bit to go check on her again. What a bitch I am. Well, I found out on Thursday night, I am a horrible mother. Not from my daughter, from my drunk husband. That is aways fun to come to - but I guess that our marriage is over and we are done. He's keeping the girls and I can leave or he will.

I will go.

And now, a few days later, - you know what, it just doesn't matter anymore. 20 years we've been together, and now, I don't care anymore. Since I am such a horrible mother - I just want out. Yeah, I have kids who are in gangs (yeah right), never home (wrong again), I never know where they are and the friends they hang out with are all trouble (oops, try that I always know where they are and their friends are great). What a horrible mother I have been. My temper is what classifies me as such a terror. Yes, this is true. I do have a temper and when pushed, I do loose it sometimes. BUT - I have never hidden this fact. EVER. When I do something wrong, I am the first to admit it. What a bitch.

So, I am working on the how to's to leaving. We are not finacially able to have me up and go, and my thing is, where do I go??

It's funny to think about leaving you know. I have already been thinking what is coming with me. Weird things - the fish are mine. And what I don't care if I have or not. My books, some are coming with me - they are mine. Scatterd thoughts right now.
And how to support myself out there. My biggest thought is I do not want to be anywhere near here. I want to be long gone. So, this is my life right now. And no, I have not been creative in any real sense of the word, but I do have to clean up my sewing room. In boxes. This is so sur-real. Did I even spell that right???

That why I needed the laugh Myra. Thanks again. Oh, and I was already shopping for Christmas - I was in such a great place on Thursday................ how things can change.
sorry for this horrible post.

My Second Day off in Row!!

I just updated my book reading list. Me, who used to read a book in a couple days, now hardly reads a full book at all! But, I have been, and it feels good!!!
I found this book in my librarys book sale, it's an older book, but I liked it. "The Cay" is an easy read, actually, I found out, it was a high school book for some kids to read!! Easy one for taking with me to read over luch or coffee breaks at work. It's a story about a boys experiance during the second world war, finding himself stranded on a very small island in the ocean when his boat had been sunk. He and a black man - and how he survived. I liked it.

The next book, one that a woman recommended as she went through the till - (I shouldn't work at Costco!!!!) - "Still Alice" by Lisa Genova. Wow. Powerful book. It is written from the persepective of a woman who has just found out she has Alzheimer's. And it is written very well, I laughed and felt for this woman. I just really enjoyed the book. My Aunt had Alzheimer's, but I was not around to see it's effects. No one I know personally has it, that I know of, but this sure put a good perspective on it for me to learn from.

I need to go sew now, to get my BOM done. I can actually go to the class - I don't work till hours later, so I have time to have fun and work that day!! Yeah!!!

And a fish update - they are doing well!! I am still so p,ease that these guys survived. I do not want this to happen again!! I love having an aquarium!!
Monday is my next day off - talk to you then!!!

I am still here.....

Hello Again. I am still here, working all kinds of odd hours and not sewing or coming on the computer much....... I do miss visiting people's blogs....... And I have been busy.

Daughter had her wisdom teeth pulled out last Thursday. She is finally back to school today, feeling like she can move her mouth. I have to do this again with my other daughter....... not fun. My youngest has 5 teeth to be removed instead of the usual 4, so that might be a little harder to do. Dr. is going to give her a special X-ray that will help him figure out where the 5th tooth is, so that will cut down on the searching time..... yuck!!! I will probably book her appointment in a couple months, in the new year. Can you believe it's that close already??!! ahhhhh!!!

And, something that just thrilled my heart - my goldfish, 5 of them, survived the freezing we had a couple weeks ago!!! Rain barrels were frozen, and I thought it was for 2 weeks, still think it was, but hubby says only a week.... uh, uh, it was for longer than that - anyways, the air warmed up, they started to melt and I wanted them empy of the water and ice before they could freeze again and damage the taps. Hubby would not be very happy to have to fix them for me, so I just wanted them empty and ready to go for next year. I was looking in the bottom of the barrel and saw my gold fish.... told my daughter I found one, thinking it was dead, I was not happy about it. She asked if it was dead, so I told her yes, but it sure looked pretty, then as I was looking at it, I saw the upper fin move oh so slightly. I was shocked!!! there is no current in a rain barrel, it should not have moved!!! I yelled, it's alive!!!! and we got him out!!! In the next couple days, we got 5 of them, so they are swimming happily in my aquarium, and I am loving it!!! So, that is my happy thought for today. And saying 'hi' to you.

Okay, I have to go get dressed and ready for my 3 - 9:30 shift........ At least it's not 10:30 or later, which I hate!! Well, don't really like anyway....... it's the not getting home till after 11 that I really don't like....... But I am not complaining. Hubby just got back from working a 24 hr shift at his job........ that is not fun at all!!

Take care!!! Have a Happy Halloween!!!!